Paper Planes
by BANG-it's Revy
Summary: Revy plus Airplanes equals OMFGwe'regonnadie. When Balalaika suggests something new, Revy doesn't get the point of riding in an airplane. Nor does she understand the laws of the flying world... Rated T for Revy being Revy. Drabble story!
1. No Planes

Revy had never ridden in an airplane before. Nor had she ever planned on it. You see, some things were meant to be done, and others weren't. This happened to be one of those things that was never supposed to happen at any point in time. Ever.

"Benny?"

The American man in the drivers seat of their red Plymouth Road Runner looked back at Revy, who sat reclined in her seat at what seemed to be an uncomfortable angle. However, she had been sitting like that for so long that it seemed she didn't even notice anymore. "What is it, Revy?" he asked, though he knew that no good would come out of her answer.

"Why are we travelling via fucking _plane_?" she asked, not sounding frustrated, but calm, as if she would much rather jump off a bridge with sixty pounds of metal strapped to her arms and legs, freefalling down to a shallow pool of water.

That didn't necessarily mean that she wouldn't be thrilled to do it.

"I'm..not really sure..." Benny replied simply with shrug, pushing his glasses up his nose in attempt to say _'Hey, I'm trying to concentrate on the road, would you please shut the hell up?'_

"Balalaika thought it would be interesting for you," Rock chimed from beside Revy, who sent him a sidelong death glare.

"He's right," Dutch agreed from the front seat. "You can never be too versatile, Revy."

Revy scoffed. "Whatever."


	2. Old Hags in Parking Lots

The three men and Revy stepped out of their car, getting a few looks from the people around. A woman saw them and gave a curious look before seeing Revy and shielding the eyes of her child, mumbling something about 'whores being everywhere these days'.

This was something that Revy did not appreciate.

"You wanna run that by me one more time, bitch?" she called out to the woman, who only kept walking. "Don't ignore me, damn it!"

"Mommy, mommy! That lady just cursed!"

"Pay no attention, dear, let's just get into the airport so we can go visit gramma..."

Revy almost stepped forward to call something else out, but was stopped when Rock pulled her back. She glared at him before spitting on the ground with a pissed off scoff. "Damn bitch," she growled, pulling her arm from Rock's grasp and crossed her arms over her chest.

Revy gazed over what was known as the airport parking lot. It didn't look all that great. It looked better than Roanapur, for sure, but that didn't really matter. Anywhere was better than that damned place.

"Are all people at airports like that old hag?"

"Yes." Rock nodded solemnly. "Yes they are."


	3. Know Your Role and Shut Your Mouth

Everyone seemed to be shocked at what they saw when Revy, Rock, Dutch, and Benny rolled in.

What, hadn't they ever seen a big buff black guy with goggles, a random white guy from Florida, a Japanese guy with a suit on, and a Chinese woman that looked ready to kick some ass all in one group?

Benny approached the woman at the counter, who jumped when she saw the little group. "U-uh, can I help you?"

Benny started to ask a series of questions that Revy didn't understand, it was as if he did this on a daily basis. But it sure made the woman calm down and cheerily smile as she looked over their tickets. "Can I see your ID's?" she asked, and Revy raised a brow.

"ID's? Why the hell do you wanna see our ID's?" she asked. The woman blinked.

"For safety?" the woman said sarcastically, and Revy walked over to the woman, clearly frustrated. Again.

"Safety, eh? Well, lemme tell ya, I've got your safety right here--!"

Dutch's hand clamped over Revy's mouth, and his arm around her neck in a headlock. He looked up to the woman at the desk, who's eyes were wide in slight fear, though she tried to play it off. "Sorry...our friend has...problems. We forgot to give her her pills today."

Hearing this, Revy thrashed around in his grip, saying some words that didn't mean to be said. The counter woman jumped. "I don't know her," Rock said, holding up his hands defensively.

The woman looked at Revy, who glared daggers at her. "Um, how about I let this one go, no ID?"

Benny smiled. "That'd be nice."


	4. Dumbass People and No Bacardi

Haha, I just realized that I never disclaimed this. xD

Well...know that I don't own Black Lagoon. Rei Hiroe does. I'm so jealous.

Though, I do own the crackishness that happens to be this drabble series. Thank you. ^^

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It was amazing that they had gotten this far.

Maybe they were intimidated by this little group...or maybe people didn't want to bother them. But after the little scene at the front counter and the ID's...well...let's just say that nobody wanted to bother the tattooed woman known as Revy.

Rock glanced around and blinked as people stared at them like a live fish buying from a seafood store. Yeah, it was that strange. They couldn't have looked that out of place, right?

Maybe not.

"I'm thirsty."

The other three of the group looked at Revy, who's arm was being held in Dutch's tight grip (to make sure she didn't wander off).

"Then go buy something," Dutch shrugged.

Revy scoffed. "I want _bacardi_. I can't just have anything. Duh."

They stared at her, and she raised an eyebrow. She didn't seem to see the problem in this. "What? There are restaurants fucking _everywhere_, I'd find it!"

"We don't have time for you to go search for bacardi at a time like this; they serve beer on the plane," Benny said, looking at his watch covered in multiple complicated-looking buttons.

Revy grumbled something incoherent regarding piss water and how she was in the mood for bacardi (and that she would probably steal some from Bao the next time she was at his bar, but that wasn't heard by the others).

Dumbass people and no bacardi?

Revy sighed. This would take forever.


	5. Stupid Kids and their Emotions

Revy sighed. This wasn't going as she had expected. Though, she would never have expected this to happen. After all, Benny was wanted by the FBI, Rock was dead to the world outside of Roanapur, Revy was Revy, and Dutch didn't seem like the plane-riding type.

How the hell this happened, Revy hadn't a clue. She didn't know how this managed to happen.

She looked around and saw the smiles of happy people going to visit family, the tears of small children when they left their mother's home to go visit their father in some other place because of the divorce, and a few apathetic looking people who just seemed to need hugs. This made Revy snort. They'd get over it.

Why did people make such a big deal about leaving their parents? Revy didn't have parents when she was a kid, and look how great she turned out!

What? Was there something wrong with the way she turned out? Did Revy have to cut a bitch? Eh...heh heh...nevermind.

Her eyes wandered over the sights, and Dutch led them to something else Revy was dumb for not expecting.

"Um..Revy?" Rock whispered quietly, raising an eyebrow. "You wouldn't happen to have your...G-U-N with you, right?" No response. Revy's eyes were taken in by the look of what was before them.

Oh, the joy that is a metal detector.

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A.N. ::

Nyah, sorry for my lack of updating, people! I know not many are really looking forward to updates because I haven't had many reviews [/hint hint], but there it is. I'll get to chapter six as soon as I can~


	6. Stripping in the Airport

Alright, world~ I'm happy for all of my devoted readers, and I enjoy the fact that you're all reading this. :3

But I want to write more.

And more and more and more and more and--

Eh, heh. I want to write a Naruto fanfic, and I have no inspiration. If you give me a plot or pairing, I'll see what I can do. Thanks?

* * *

This was going to be one of the most horrible situations of Rebecca's life.

Revy stared at the machine, then over to the people that stripped down in front of it, taking off belts and all things metal.

_Oh, shit._

The woman's mouth was agape, and she couldn't look at it.

"Revy...did you hear me?" Rock asked, looking somewhat scared.

She stared at the machine and saw Benny walk through after placing his belt and keys into the little plastic box before continuing. Dutch came along next (the security guard made an extra attempt to make sure he had nothing on him). Rock uneasily followed, looking over his shoulder at Revy once more before continuing.

Revy rubbed the back of her neck and sighed, walking forward and took out a few things from her pockets; keys, belt, shoes...

Rock seemed tense as she walked through the metal detector. Revy smirked. This would be easy. The damn thing wouldn't recognize her barettas through her convenient placement into her shirt...right?

She swallowed, then walked through...

Nothing happened.

Revy smirked once more. Perfect.

As soon as she got to the other side... _BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

Damn.

The guard stopped her by grabbing her wrist, and she sent him a glare that could make even Marilyn Manson horrified. "What?" she asked, and he flinched.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need to check you over..."

She scoffed. "If you wanted to check me out, you coulda been more subtle about it, dumbass," Revy pulled her wrist out of his grip. Rock's eyes widened. He looked to Dutch.

"Did she just...?"

"Yeah. She did."

The guard glared down at her, and took his handheld metal detector, running it over her, but far enough to not touch her. It beeped once it got to her chest area.

"Why there, of all places?" Revy could ask Rock say, and Benny cursed under his breath.

Revy looked at the security guard for a moment, then her companions. Then, she did the unspeakable.

She punched the guy in the chin, grabbed her shoes and belt before taking off at a full speed run.

"She didn't just...?" Rock asked after a second, seeing the security guards take off after her.

"She did." Dutch growled, running after them.


	7. Deception is the Easy Part

Haha, I just realized, more stories take my thougth process away from my old ones.

Ah, I'm so slow.

Oh, well. Here's an update for your wait~

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Revy just made a highly idiotic mistake that would be hard to get over.

Not only did she not get rid of her cutlass, but she ran away from security to keep it to herself.

Damn Balalaika. If she hadn't come up with her ideas, then this would never have happened. Perfect.

She bit her lip and looked over her shoulder. Security was further back, and even further, she could see the rest of her crew coming in the same direction. She rolled her eyes. Way to be inconspicuous.

Revy jumped one way, over a cart, and around to an area she didn't expect them to have seen before conveniently finding a Flight Attendent's outfit. She didn't want to, but she had to take it.

She quickly changed her clothes (more like threw on the shirt and skirt over her outfit) and let some of her hair down a bit and the rest was up in the blue attendant hat, and made sure her trademark tatto was covered. The shoes there were too small, so she held her beloved combat boots behind her back.

Revy now felt accomplished, stepping out and looked as innocent as possible as she went in the opposite direction of the security that had stalked her, and they ran right past. Dutch and the others would have done the same if she hadn't stuck out her arm to grab Rock's collar and tilt her head at him with a mischievious smile. "Where are you going?"

The other two stopped and turned to look at her, and they all stared in amazement. Revy was in a skirt? The only one of them who had actually seen her in a skirt was Dutch, but it was a lot longer than her usual shorts, so it wasn't that shocking.

"Um..Revy?"

"Whut?"

"Where did you get that?"

Revy shook her head. "Rock, friends are hard to come by when you're nosy," she reminded him as she did nearly a year before, which had been a month after they had first met.

He smirked. "Alright."

The other two nodded. "Well, if you're in that, then we'd better get to our plane as soon as possible," Benny said. "Lead the way, Miss Flight Attendant!"

They all laughed but Revy. "What, you wanna die, too, Benny?!"


	8. Stupid People are the Best

uguuu...it's been too long, am I right?

My bad to my fans, and thank you for all of the reviews~

Though, more would be loved!

I do not own Black Lagoon, or any of the uber-sexy characters in it.

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When Revy had suggested the killing of Benny, she had been rather serious, but kept a clenched fist at her side. Her teeth were clenched together as well, and sort of sounded like blades rubbing together when she breathed. Revy was clearly aggravated.

"Plane. There." She said frustratedly, pointing in the direction of the people who boarded the plane to Japan. Conveniently, they were right on time.

"Well, that's good. You found your way here pretty fast, Revy. I think you should be the bloodhound..." Rock chuckled.

"Oi, leave the glasses bitch out of this... damn, I swear, if I see her one more time I'll..."

Benny laughed, earning another death glare from the assasin-turned-flight-attendant. It was an amusing sight, but nobody seemed to notice how out of place she looked.

"I guess we should board..." Dutch shrugged, looking at the other three as he walked over towards the attendants who scanned their boarding passes.

"Yeah..." Rock agreed, following after. Benny did the same, not wanting to just stand there with the true possibility of Revy killing him. He knew she probably wouldn't, but didn't want to take any chances.

As Revy neared the front to give her pass, a flight attendant looked her over. Revy gulped and watched as her comrades walked forward, continuing casually but slowly so they could turn back and do something, just in case.

"Hey..." the flight attendant said, staring at Revy's face (while Revy resisted the urge to tell her that her breath smelled bad). "You..."

Revy swallowed, actually nervous. She didn't want to be arrested in an airport. Maybe somewhere in the middle of Roanapur, but not an airport.

"Ohmigawd, Veronica? You're taking a plane to Japan?" the flight attendant asked. There was nobody else around, so she was clearly talking to Revy.

"Um...yeah...Thailand's gettin' boring, y'know?" Damn. Very convincing.

"I know what you mean. Ah, well have fun!" the flight attendant said cheerily and let her pass through.

Revy grinned evilly to herself as she walked towards the plane. This would be so much easier than she thought...


	9. Killers Aren't Good Flight Attendants

Okay, I know, _shoot me_, I haven't updated in a while.

Well, I have a life! xD

Not really, though. Here's another chapter to keep you going.

* * *

Maybe it wouldn't be as easy as they originally thought.

Revy looked at the flight attendant that smiled at her cheerfully. "You're taking the back with Christina, right?" Revy opened her mouth to speak, not sure of what to say, but the woman smiled more. "Alright, then! To the back you go!"

She was pushed into Rock's back, who fell forward and hit Dutch. Rock looked over his shoulder at Revy, who simply glared.

"Nice goin', dumbass. Almost knocked over Dutch." Revy scoffed, retaining her balance and walked until they got further into the plane and found their seats.

They all got settled in, and right when Revy was ready to fall asleep, she heard a voice beside her.

"Ready for takeoff?" the obnoxious flight attendant from minutes before came beside her. Revy was about to question her being there before she realized that she was still dressed as a flight attendant.

"Um...sure..." Revy mumbled, cursing under her breath.

"Well, good, because it's your turn to tell them what to do in case of emergency. I told them last time."

Revy furrowed her brow, and she could hear Benny chuckling from the side. She shot him a death glare. "Jeez. Do I have to?"

"Yeah. We don't get paid for sitting around, remember?"

"Why can't you do it?"

The woman laughed like this was the most ridiculous thought. "Because it's your turn, of course!"

Revy sighed, gave Dutch a hopeful look, and stood, ready to die, right then and there.

She followed the attendant to the front and stared at all the passengers as the airplane slowly started moving. The attendant handed her a piece of paper with the rules on it, mumbling a "Just in case" as she walked off to help the captain.

Revy picked up the speaker so everyone on the plane could hear her. "Alright, everyone. I hope you all got your seatbelts on and what not in case we crash...and don't forget that your seat floats if we fall into water...if you think you're not breathing anymore, some weird lookin' thing will come out from above ya and you put it on your mouth. Remember to be a selfish bastard and help yourself before anyone else. Got it? Okay. Let's get this damn thing going."

And she walked off, leaving a myriad of people shocked.

"Great job, Revy," Benny mumbled. "You're going to get us all killed."

"Agh, quit yer whining." Revy smacked him upside the head. "It's not like this can get any worse."


End file.
